Narrative History of Events Leading to the German Decision to Invade the North Pole

The events that led to the German invasion of the North Pole were more serendipitous than part of any grand scheme. In fact, in retrospect, it is almost as if the whole situation had been contrived solely to insure there would be a conflict at the Pole.

On Christmas Eve, 1941, a disgruntled member of the “Prep and Landing” team, lax in his duties, was captured (asleep no less) by the Gestapo in Hamburg, Germany.

Bitter at being passed over for promotion, he (let’s call him “Judas” for the sake of this history) readily offered up what details he had about the location of Santa’s Castle - a misnomer, as it includes not only the castle proper but surrounding industrial complex aka The Workshop, training fields for the reindeer, housing for elves, a vibrant arts district (elves need downtime like everyone else), etc.

The “North Pole”, as it is called, although it is not the geographic place of the same name, is a medium-sized island in the Arctic Circle, shrouded from view from the air by powerful magic, but, oddly, at the time, still accessible by sea (where it looked like a large chunk of ice). For the Nazis, this was music to their ears - surely, the jolly fat man would offer no resistance to the might of Germany..

Before Judas could disabuse them of that notion, and reveal the island’s defenses, he was “silenced” by European agents of C.L.A.S.S. (Cute Little Animals in Santa’s Service)  who infiltrated the Hamburg Gestapo headquarters early Christmas Day, 1941. Notice the absence of the term “rescued” in the preceding sentence. 

Artist rendition.

If you betray Santa, word travels fast. Plus, war is hell.

Although the Gestapo had yet to determine exactly what to do with the informant, the result would have been the same, so, they shrugged their collective shoulders, disposed of the body, reported the information, and went back to carrying out their evil deeds.

In their eagerness, the German command worked with the limited intelligence they had (a comment on the information Judas provided and their own character) to prepare a plan to land a kampfgruppe on the “North Pole”, assault Santa’s Castle and capture Santa. 

Surely, they reasoned, it would bring Europe and much of the world to its knees.